Inexplicable
by Chibi Rose Angel
Summary: Few things in this world made sense. That much he knew and understood perfectly. What he didn't and couldn't understand, however, is why Kunzite chose him as second in command.


_**Author's Notes**_: As long as I've been into Sailor Moon, I've never had an interest in writing fanfiction for the fandom. That is until recently… As of late, I've grown pretty obsessed with the General/Senshi pairings. I'm very disappointed that the creator didn't explore these relationships further. That and she didn't really give us anything to work with concerning the Silver Millennium. If I'm not mistaken, one would think she WANTED all of the Senshi to end up with no one. But that's a rant I'll save for another day. With this story, I'm basically attempting to write about Nephrite's feelings towards being chosen as second in command. We were never really told WHY or WHAT he did to become 2nd in command so this ficlet is just my take on his thoughts and feelings on being the Kunzite's second in command. Also, this story is set in the Silver Millenium. At this time though, I'd like to thank my dearest and sweet beta Alizep for putting up with me. It took us a while but we finally beat this story into submission. Though we couldn't agree for the life of us on who was second in command, I chose to stick with Nephrite. I wanted to do a piece about Nephrite that showed him in a positive light since so many stories tend to portray him rather negatively. At any rate, bolded italics will denote past interactions/speech/thoughts. Constructive criticisms are welcomed and thank you in advance for reading my story.

_**Disclaimer**_: I don't own Sailor Moon or anything else associated with Sailor Moon.

I have always prided myself on being a man of logic and reasoning. From time to time, I have been known to lose my temper and become quite reckless; however, nothing could have ever prepared me for Kunzite's words that morning.

_**Nephrite sat perched on the wide windowsill looking up at the stars, trying to decipher their hidden meaning. He had been sitting there for what seemed like hours to him but was surely only moments waiting for Kunzite's arrival. Kunzite said that he wanted to speak with Nephrite and leaving him to assume that it had everything to do with yesterday's events. **_

_**The stars spoke to him in hushed tones, leaving him to only further wonder what Kunzite's words would be. A grin forms on his lips as he realized that not even the gods or the heavens above could predict Kunzite's words. 'It's an amazing ability that he possesses,' Nephrite thought to himself. 'I can only hope that I will have time enough here to learn it myself.'**_

_**His thoughts were quickly replaced with trepidation as Kunzite finally entered the room. Nephrite glanced up at the clock and uttered a swear to his self that the man couldn't have timed his entrance any more perfect had he been standing outside the door waiting for the chiming to begin signaling the late hour.**_

_**After a brief pause, Nephrite remembered his manners and rank, or lack thereof, by quickly getting up and **__**bowing his head in respect to his **__**superior. "Kunzite," he spoke in a flat tone, **__**hoping that Kunzite didn't detect his nervousness. Mentally he chuckled to himself thinking that he would not place very much stock in such useless longings.**_

"_**Do you know why I've come to see you**__**,**__** Nephrite?" Kunzite asked as he stared at **__**the man across from him.**_

_**Nephrite was trying unsuccessfully to hide his growing discomfort. If it was one thing that could effectively unnerve him, it was **__**the coolness of **__**Kunzite's gaze. **_

"_**No, but I'm assuming it has to do with what happened yesterday…" He trailed off as he averted his eyes **__**choosing instead to focus on the reflection on Kunzite's boots**__**. **__**'Amazing that they always appear in such perfect condition,' he reflected, thinking of his own boots covered in scuff marks.**_

_**Kunzite nodded, **__**the look was not lost to Nephrite even though his attention was elsewhere. Nephrite knew Kunzite that well at least.**_

"_**You do realize that your arrogance endangered not only yourself and your comrades**__**, **__**but also the prince as well?" **_

_**Nephrite took the chance to look up and couldn't help the grimace that came to his face. Kunzite**__**'s face remained impassive as ever, but none the less, Nephrite could still sense that he **__**was definitely not pleased.**_

"_**You deliberately disobeyed my orders and let your emotions get the best of you. Because of your reckless behavior, what was supposed to be a simple and harmless bit of 'fun' **__**almost turned into a tragedy**__**! Do you have any idea what would have happened had Zoicite not intercepted you?" **_

"_**It was a mistake. I hadn't meant…"**_

_**Eyes flashing dangerously, Kunzite took a step forward **__**and the room seemed to shrink in size. **__**"'A mistake'", he repeated. "Is that all that you have to say for yourself?" Oddly enough, Nephrite would have felt relief if Kunzite would just yell at him and get it over with. "**__**You injured the man that you were sworn to protect and nearly dismembered one of your own.**__** Your actions were completely **__**unbecoming of a man of your stature.**__** Did you simply forget **__**all of**__**your training? Or perhaps you were hoping that brute strength alone would ensure you a swift victory?" **__**Kunzite paused and waited for Nephrite to respond, but was only met with further silence. "For a man of normally so many words you have suddenly become quite mute."**_

_**As much as **__**Nephrite **__**wanted to defend himself, he found that he couldn't. Kunzite was right. **__**He should**__**n't**__** have **__**allowed himself to be goaded into **__**Endymion's challenge **__**so easily when he knew better. **__**But instead he allowed the prince to **__**provoke **__**him into some silly competition that his ego had seemed determined to win.**_

"_**Though you have proven yourself quite adept with swords as well as your **__**abilities with the stars **__**and **__**while **__**no one can match your strength, I am afraid that I just can't trust you nor can I rely on you to control yourself." **_

_**Upon hearing those words, Nephrite began to panic. His eyes widened as his heart hammered loudly **__**against **__**his chest. His thoughts became frantic, **__**trying to desperately deny what he knew Kunzite to be insinuating.**_

_**Without thinking, Nephrite blurted out the first **__**coherent phrase **__**that came to mind. "Kunzite, I know there is no way for me to make up for the wrongs I have committed nor can I take back any of my actions but I swear to you I won't fail you again."**_

_**He couldn't tell if Kunzite was shocked or disgusted by his plea but he continued **__**anyway.**__** "I know full well what it means to be a **__**Shitennou and I admit that I have made mistakes in the past.**__** For that, no apologies will ever be enough. That is why I **__**will **__**humbly request that I relinquish my title and position as a **__**Shitennou**__** if it so pleases you." Nephrite finished, bowing **__**his head **__**deeply to Kunzite.**_

_**For a moment, everything was silent until Kunzite began chuckling. Alarmed by Kunzite's sudden amusement, Nephrite snapped his gaze back towards **__**him**__**. He was thoroughly baffled when Kunzite's chuckles turned into full blown laughter.**_

_**It was one thing to see Kunzite smile**__**,**__** as that was a rare incident indeed**__**, **__**but it was a completely different story altogether to see him laughing **__**without constraint.**__** His laughter wasn't polite nor was it mocking. It was filled to the brim with reckless abandon, which was very confusing to Nephrite. **_

_**When he wouldn't stop laughing, Nephrite scowled angrily. "And just what do you find so **__**amusing?**__** Earlier you berated me for letting my emotions get the best of me**__**, yet here you stand **__**doing the exact same thing."**_

_**Kunzite's laughter started to fade, although his lips were still curled with amusement**__** and his eyes still crinkled with merriment. "Fool. I had no intention of removing you from Endymion's guard. I merely wanted to make sure you knew the consequences of your actions."**_

_**By this point, Nephrite was filled with righteous anger. To say he was feeling like a complete idiot was an understatement. "That's it then?! You called me here this **__**late in the evening to make me feel even more foolish? To make sure that **__**I know my place, is that it? I'll have you know I could have done without your mockery and taunts."**_

_**Turning on his heel, Nephrite was about to leave when Kunzite's next words stopped him.**_

"_**I did not ask you here to make light of you. Instead I wanted to inform you that you have been chosen as Endymion's second in command."**_

_**His blood ran cold in his veins as he slowly turned around. Cobalt blue eyes met **__**pale green **__**eyes. "What did you just say?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper **__**and an octave higher than normal.**_

"_**I'll have you know you were unanimously chosen."**_

_**With that said, Kunzite promptly left the room leaving Nephrite utterly confused and shocked for the second time that day.**_

Prior to that day, I was convinced that Kunzite would choose Zoicite or perhaps even Jadeite to become his second in command. Both of them had qualities that I believed to far exceed my own. What Zoicite might be lacking in muscle, he more than made up for with his intellect. There is no one that could rival his intelligence or shrewdness.

Jadeite's strength laid in his role as a brilliant strategist. He could devise and execute an entire battle plan with more precision than some of the best military leaders Earth had to offer. Take away those abilities and he still had his strength to fall back on. While he was still no match for either Kunzite or myself, he could still hold his own in any battle without fail.

So where then did that leave me?

All I had to offer were my abilities to commune with the stars though I preferred the term "stargazer". And while I wasn't completely lacking intellectually, I still paled in comparison to Zoicite's cunning and could not even hope to compete with Jadeite's military prowess.

I often still wonder just why Kunzite has chosen me, of all people, to be Endymion's guard. I am prone to anger and am often blinded by my emotions. I have difficulty opening up to others, especially if my trust with them has been broken. It doesn't make any sense to me. Why had fate chosen me to be a Shitennou in the first place? Why should I have such an important rank? I was certainly wasn't meant for such importance… or was I?

I wasn't the type to willingly follow orders either. I am more liable to backtalk to my superiors rather than listen to them. Even worse, sometimes I am far too arrogant and cocky for my own good.

So why then would he choose me?

I'm not ready. I can't handle such an important responsibility. If I fail, the prince will be the one who suffers - and he's the last person who should ever know disappointment. Someone as kind, gentle, loyal and loving like him should never have to experience what we went through.

War, poverty and famine took everything away from us and made us who we are.

Kunzite lost his entire family because of a rebellion and only ended up in the service of the prince because of his connections to the royal family.

Zoicite would have died during the rebellion had he not been found by Kunzite. His family had perished in the struggle against the rebels and he was left for dead by his attackers. Seeing as how Zoicite had no one left to look after him, Kunzite had taken it upon himself to care for the boy. Kunzite wasn't exactly a very nurturing and loving person but Zoicite could have cared less about that. He wasn't alone anymore and that was all that mattered to him.

Jadeite, however, wasn't as keen or pleased to know that he was now nothing more than a guard dog. At least that's the way he saw things in the beginning. From the moment he came to the Palace, he did everything in his power to be released from Endymion's services. Jadeite did not like to be placed into servitude and refused to understand that his calling in life was higher than most. He started fights (verbal and non-verbal alike), wouldn't attend mandatory training sessions and blatantly disrespected the prince and his family. Looking back now, it's a wonder Kunzite didn't kill him. Although I suppose no one really knows what happened behind closed doors between the two men.

As much as Kunzite pretended to not care for any of us, I imagine it's quite the opposite. He does a good job of hiding behind his mask of indifference, but he was always the first to make sure our needs were met and that our safety was his chief concern. No one would ever wrong one of his Shitennou knowing that the price they would pay would be higher than they could afford. Kunzite's wrath is a thing of legend, though I can't remember having ever actually seen this extremity. Perhaps I should be thankful to the stars for this at least.

Though Jadeite fought the constraints of his role as protector to the prince through random acts of rebellion, he did in the end wind up becoming extremely fond of the prince. To this day, he denies having any sort of affection for the man but I know full well that is one of the main reasons that he stuck around for as long as he had. Although punishment by Kunzite's hand for abandonment may have been a close second as it would have been for anyone else – man and god alike.

As for me, I still struggle to find what my place in the prince's life. A stargazer can only do so much for his liege. In the thick of battle would the stars be able to lend me their strength and wisdom? Would I be able to effectively protect my prince from all harm and ill will simply because I had an affinity for the stars?

My lady love has often told me that I'm far too hard on myself and that there are plenty of good qualities about me. I, on the other hand, have a hard time believing her words.

Unlike her, I have no celestial powers to aid me in my endless quest to keep the prince safe. While she was seen by many people as a goddess, I was merely a mortal. If I were to receive grave injuries, I would die. She, on the other hand, would not. My strength was one of my defining attributes but it was also my greatest weakness. At times, I would lose my temper and fall back on my strength. That particular little habit has gotten me into more trouble than I care to remember. However, with time, I managed to grow out of always relying on my strength. After all, one could only tolerate Kunzite's criticisms for so long.

Sometimes I wish I were like her. Strong, bold and fearless are only some of the words that come to mind when I think of her, along with beautiful and graceful to describe her beauty. As much as I want to believe her words, I can't bring myself to do so. I have never done anything worthy of my title as Shinnetou yet she along with everyone else seems to believe that only I can handle this.

Suddenly I'm reminded of her words from our last encounter. "You wouldn't have been chosen had he not known what you were fully capable of. He is your superior and it is his job to realize your shortcomings as well as to see what gives you your greatest strength."

I would often tease her and tell her that he must know that it's her just to see the way her cheeks would blush in response. She would shake off my words trying to regain her composure only to remind me that there was a reason that Venus had such an affinity for Kunzite and that it was based on more than just physical appearances.

Contrary to popular belief, the stars don't tell me everything. Sometimes they will give me snippets of information and other times they remain silent. I suppose the stars can be quite fickle but no one seems to grasp this concept. People often believe that they tell me everything when they really don't.

"_**I would be hard pressed to find someone like you, Nephrite. You're a walking contradiction who both embraces and shuns his emotions. You have yet to realize your full potential but I would have no other as my second in command."**_

**Rolling my eyes heavenward, I can't help but answer with a teasing remark**_**. "Then I'll make sure you don't regret your decision."**_

"_**See to it that you don't." **__**As quickly as he appeared, he disappeared leaving Nephrite somewhat dumbstruck over the entire conversation. Nephrite shook his head, disappointed that in that moment he had not chosen more affirmative words or at least something witty. Maybe a little more time with Jadeite could help him to improve on this at least. **_

Nephrite's thoughts came back to the present as he quickly fell into place besides Kunzite. Granted, he still has his doubts, but his last few months as second to Kunzite had shown him more of what he was capable of. For a moment he thought back to Jupiter's words about Kunzite and wondered if Venus cut her down and built her back up as quickly as Kunzite to him. Did she understand all along what he did not? It was then that he realized that if he wished to even the field between himself and his fearless leader, he would need to learn to decipher Kunzite at least half as well as the man was able to decipher him.


End file.
